


The Adoption of Marvelous Cats

by Anzie (anzie)



Series: The Adventures of Marvelous Cats [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Incredible Hulk - All Media Types, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Crack, Drabbles, Humor, Is it or is it not Loki, Kitty!Loki, Loki is a cat, Lokitty, Post-Avengers (2012), Post-Thor: The Dark World, Prequel, The Avengers are like dysfunctional siblings, cat!Loki, drabbles kind of, how Lokitty was adopted, not exactly a oneshot, shortfic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-18
Updated: 2014-05-18
Packaged: 2018-01-25 14:26:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1651919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anzie/pseuds/Anzie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>Natasha had intelligently not bothered to join them, and Cap had that serene, 'I don't really mind what animal we get Thor,' look on his face again.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Bruce is pretty sure adopting an animal shouldn't be this difficult. Tony and Clint can't agree with each other, Natasha has taken up staring contests with Persian cats, and Steve is an animal person. Go figure.</p><p>This series features a bunch of drabbles in chronological order about how the Avengers became crazy cat... heroes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Adoption of Marvelous Cats

**Author's Note:**

> Oops. Lokitty is back. What have I done. 
> 
> This chapter is a prequel to ['There Are No Cats like Lokitty'](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1576787).
> 
> Enjoy.
> 
> [ edit ] Word Online screwed up the formatting. Fuck.  
> [ 23/5 ] what happened to the formatting?? Also, yes, this is still ongoing. c:

This, Bruce supposes, should have been expected.  

None in the Earth-bound Avengers team originally believed that buying a present for Thor's birthday would be difficult at all. After all, the guy's from another  _world_  entirely, it's not like he'll have access to things that 'Midgard' sells in bulk. Like coffee mugs. Or  _coffee._   


(Bruce still thinks buying the demi-God his own oversized coffee mug is a good idea. Natasha thinks Thor will smash it within moments of receiving it. Cap... didn't have an opinion.)

But of course none of them could decide on one present to get him. 

So Tony went and bought out an entire Macy's, Clint and Natasha used their SHIELD contacts to get Thor some gift cards ("So if he wants to get something he likes he can actually get it," Clint said defensively as Natasha nods in firm agreement),  Bruce bought him that oversized coffee mug (in plastic, because he thought that maybe Natasha might be onto Thor's table manners) and Steve had the jewelers make Thor an army dog tag with his name on it (Bruce is somewhat surprised the jeweler didn't laugh in poor Steve's face).

The problem is, now, that none of their presents were particularly _personal_. (Except Steve's, but everything about Steve is kind of personal.)  And that problem became shockingly large when they received news of Loki's passing. (Loki was a dick but he was still someone's brother, someone's son.)

So Miss Potts - "Call me Pepper, please." - suggested they buy Thor a pet to help him get through his difficult times, in the light of Thor's depressing news.

Bruce really shouldn't be surprised when none of them (two of them) could agree on what animal to get, either.  Clint wanted to get the animal from the shelter for Thor but Tony insisted upon dragging them to the nearest pet shop, firm in his belief that Thor was a  _prince_ , if they got him some shelter cat he’d somehow hate it. (Bruce was privately of the opinion that Tony didn’t actually know how to get anyone presents, particularly when Pepper wasn’t around to help.)  After a little while (two minutes) of bickering with two stubborn Avengers, Bruce had started to feel a little green, and backed out of the argument entirely. (Natasha had intelligently not bothered to join them, and Cap had that serene, ' _I don't really mind what animal we get Thor_ ,' look on his face again.)  Steve still had nothing tosay of the whole dispute (but Bruce noticed the Captain cuddling the animals while Tony argued with Clint over whether a cat or a dog was better).

Inching further away from the current fight (“Get him a bird!” “No!” "Not even a  _parrot_?" "What use would he have for a  _parrot_?" "What about a hunting bird then? "" _How is that supposed to be a good idea?!_ "), Bruce moves over to where Natasha is having a staring contest with the squashed-faced Persian kitten and murmurs, “Why aren’t you helping Clint out?”

“If Clint wants to pick a fight with a billionaire brat it’s got nothing to do with me,” she says calmly without breaking her gaze. “Besides, they’ll figure it out eventually. Or Steve will find something he absolutely can’t part with.”

Bruce chuckles. 

"I'd like to see either of them say 'no' to Steve's devastated face."

Natasha's lips twitch. "He  _does_  do a very good impression of a kicked puppy. It's a wonder he is our leader at all..." She falls silent, and Bruce glances over at Clint and Tony, who have began to pinch each other like they were back in grade school, then at Steve, who is holding a slobbery, enthusiastic puppy to his cheek. He shakes his head.

"I really hope they don't get a dog."

"Why not?"

Bruce grimaces. "Dogs are noisy, and the other guy might get annoyed."

Natasha stifles a little grin. "I'll keep that in mind."

The jingle of the doorbell is almost completely obscured by Clint and Tony’s arguments, but Bruce ignores it to stare at the kitty in the glass cage before them, mewling pitifully  at Natasha.

“I think this one likes you.”

“It looks like a squished fruit,” Natasha says dismissively, but her eyes don’t leave the kitten.

“It’s cute. I’m sure you can get one, too.”

“It will ruin the surprise for Thor. A new cat is hardly low-key.”

“Tony’s probably going to tell him right off the bat.”

Natasha’s wicked smile flickers over her face for a brief moment before she shrugs. “I’ll deal with it.”

“Oh, look at this one,” Bruce hears Steve say. Turning around he sees the Captain suddenly laden with tiny crawling kittens and puppies and a baby bird nesting in his hair, and  Bruce has to stifle a laugh. “Why are you out of your cage, little buddy?”

The  'little buddy' hisses from the floor behind the counter, where it is obscured from Bruce's view - and then itmakes high pitched squeaking sounds of distress as Steve ducks down, assumedly, to pick it up.

“Be careful, sir!” the flustered salesgirl (who Bruce thought was quietly ogling Steve) squeaks, catching the cats and dogs that can barely keep a hold of Steve when his balance shifts. “I’ll just put them back in their cages-“

Her voice trails off when she realizes that Steve isn't listening. 

The Captain stands again with a big smile on his face, holding a furiously flailing black kitten with one tiny white paw, it’s face scrunched up in total annoyance. Bruce inches closer to see it bare its teeth at Steve in what’s meant to be a menacing hiss. Steve beams at it. Shushing it softly, the captain hugs the little thing to his chest. “Clint, Tony, Bruce, Natasha… look at this one.”

Bruce peers at it from over the counter. "It's cute," he offers. The kitten spits at him, the hairs on its back rising as it claws at Steve's hold. Steve just beams more.

Natasha rests her elbows on the counter beside Bruce and eyes the cat dubiously. "I guess."

Steve holds the kitten up in the air and it struggles even more furiously as it slips, squeaking in panic. "Oh! Sorry, little buddy." Steve tucks it closer to him again, still keeping a firm hold. "Clint? Tony? What do you think?"

It’s Clint who drags his eyes firstfrom glaring at Tony to stare at the cat . Bruce sees the exact moment his scowl becomes a frown of thought, forehead crinkling. At that, Tony turns around as well, and he blinks. "Um."

The kitten has, in true cat style,  pressed its furry little face against Steve’s chest and is purring loud enough for the sound to fill the room. Bruce feels a small smile tug on his lips when Clint  and Tony  seem to soften.

Clint reaches out to let the kitten sniff his finger before taking it from Steve’s reluctantly loosegrip. “Hey there lil’ fella,” he says, and the kitten goes  _mew _ like some kind of happy sweet thing that wasn't previously hissing and spitting at themand uses its claws to climb up Clint’s bare arm. “Hey, ow fuck, lil' guy." As Natasha laughs at him, Clint grimaces and lifts the kitten onto his shoulder, where it happily makes its home,  tail dangling lazily down his back. It sniffs his shirt and licks his neck. Clint makes a sound of protest.

“I like this one,” Tony says with an evil grin when the kitten inches closer to Clint's neck and rubs its face against it. Clint lets out a little squawk, flinching away and sending the tiny cat flying onto the counter, where it scrabbles around for a briefest moment before making a break for it.

Its hesitation was its downfall, because Natasha has the reflexes of a snake and had it in her hands before it managed to take the leap of faith off the table. She dumps the kitten back in Steve's waiting hands.

Steve cuddles it closer. "It was just being friendly."

"That thing-" Clint sputters, flushed.

"It's not exactly a secret that you're ticklish, Clint," Natasha points out with a grin that matches Tony's.  "So, this cat then?" 

Steve nods eagerly.

Bruce shrugs.

It squeaks.

Clint huffs.

Then, “It’s still not a bird.”

“Shut up, Barton,” Natasha says, and Clint shuts up.

Tony gets the bill.

**Author's Note:**

> Next chapter should feature another cat!villain. If you have any requests now might be a good time to tell me.
> 
> Thank you for reading.


End file.
